controlled chaos part 6

goodness gracious!! don't cha just love mondays! haha back to school and work and practice. but after thee weekend its good to get back into the routien of life. lets talk about the best weekend ever starting with last friday:)

last friday in my 3rd period statistics class iu get a letter from the NHS (National Honors Society) administratoin saying my application has been approved and i am now appart of nhs. congrats etc. then when i get home my granny is in town for the weekend and i havnt seen her since my birthday. i love my granny. sturday i spent all day with her. sunday the schools marching band went to state finals were we recieved a surperior rateing and i was soooo happy. all that i have worked for has finally paid off. the best weekend ever. so now back into the week and to the swing of things it feels good but i would like a nap now. napping i completly controlled and chaos free. i think i like my life more when there is less chaos. buut chaos keeps you on your toes. but im tired lol.

Controlled Chaos Part 6

well. rain sucks balls. thats all its done here all week. it better not rain friday though or i might just cry. sitting in class and the teacher said" well since i have a headache lets not do anything today" i like this teacher. so just sitting her chatting to my friend hannah. almost time to go home and g et ready for practice :( in the rain.... maybe they will let us go inside for once.. doubt it. no chaos, but everything for once is under controll :)

Controlled Chaos Part 5

homecoming was well..... interesting. thats the best way to put it. i went to dinner with my date,nathan, and my best friend samantha :) im sooo glad she came. without her it would of been a worse evening. after dinner we drove around then headed to the dance. ha when we slow danced one song he tried to sing to me. i got soo weak and couldnt wait for the dance to be over! at the begging of the night we were dates but by the end we were just friends. something deffinatly changed. after the dance he took me home and i didnt talk to him until the next week. let alone, no one tells me of everything going on with him and im completly left out. lauren comes up to me momday after 6th periodd and says " have you seen nathan?" im like "no,, why?" she was then entitled to tell me the story of what has happened. apparently he got a huge heart break after that dance and sunday. he was really deppressed and was considering suicide???? WHAT THE HELL??? so what i get from that is somewhat selfish but, i guess my night with him didnt mean anything. after twirking and stuff and holding hands.. goodness. i give up. so now were just friends and everytime i look at the hundreds of pictures we took. lord help me. imma loose it. that rite there is some major chaos that is in the process of being controlled :)

Controlled Chaos Part 4

i do not like school. its the main reason everything is chaotic. i see the people that i dont want to see. i have assignments and issues that cause me to freak out.and when i get home i have homework that takes up all my free time that i need to figure things out that happened earlier. its like they make you go to school so there is always confusion. its soo annoying.

OMG today for the first time since a week before school started, the guy that started all my problems spoke to me. one little word... "HEY" i couldnt even say it back. he cought my eyes and we just looked at each other and it said a million words. we desperatly need to talk now. i think we will be able to. i hate the make up after getting plaed. but atleast there is this time. most of the time its just a cliffhanger... but i still love and care about him so it needs to be solved. more controlling of the chaos.

Controlled Chaos Part 3

im sick :/

and it sucks. but other than that everything is going to be okay, for a while. this weekend is my first competition. i personally, i am ready to take on anything. but my team,well,, there not the same. they dont know how to do anything at all. no joke, they get confused on which way is up...our coach is stressed, that makes me stressed. next year, i am captain. and they better get their acts together. group their poop and move on past this dumb spot. i cant just feel it, something is going to go wrong at the competition. they are going to forget the whole routien and where to go. theres goin to be wardrobe malfunctions and make up issues. and they will all be coming to me. our team has 28 people, that is chaos to the extreem. and of course when you try to fix them, they bitch a fit and get a attitude. im going to be, controlling chaos.

Controlled Chaos Part 2

My mom.. i swear. she is crazy. something is going on with her. probably menopause or something. she complains about every little thing. last night she was storming through the house yelling at every thing and everyone. it was terrible. and to make things worse, im sick. i feel terrible. my whole body aches. i need to go to bed now. but stupid school gets in the way of course. homecoming is still getting closer and closer and im still dateless. that one more thing i dont need to worry about. the only good thing about a monday is that its closer to friday than sunday.

Controlled Chaos Part 1

my life has been everything but organized and efficent. and sometimes i just cant hold it in anymore. i used to have a diary like little kids do, but now i feel like growing up and finding other ways to express my inner thoughts.

right now, the most uncontrolled and chaotic part of my life is school and every aspect of it. homecoming is coming up and i no longer have a date. this year i actually wanted one too. between trying to talk to the guy i now like and getting over a past half-a$$ed relationship. things get crazy. and on top of that i didnt get my coffee this morning. well isnt that a great way to start a cold fall morning...